Compelled By Melete III
Helpful Hints
The discerning individual can determine whether he's being kept in a basement CIA holding cell or the hull of an alien spaceship using the following three criteria:
1) Paint: CIA holding cells are painted grey, usually two coats and primer over plaster parging, which itself is spread over poured concrete.
The hulls of alien spaceships are just grey, the way a sugar cube is white. Grey, grey, grey.
2) Resonance: gently tapping the wall of a CIA holding cell will produce a dull thud. Again, plaster parging over poured concrete.
Gently tapping the hull of an alien spaceship produces a strange, hollow tinkling, like tapping two charred sticks together in a bonfire. (Warning: don't go overboard with this. You don't want to be making a lot of ruckus in the bowels of an alien spaceship. Trust me.)
3) Residue: No matter how much they scour, the CIA can never quite manage to get their holding cells completely clean. A small droplet of dried blood here, a fleck of unidentifiable tissue there, a sooty film in the crack where the wall meets the floor. Not much, but always present.
Aliens use some sort of irradiation technology, combined with whatever composite material their hulls are made of, to completely irradicate all traces of the former occupants of their holding cells. Two minutes after the bloodiest implantation procedure they could safely work on open microcircuitry in the same room. Donald Rumsfeld wishes.
The discerning individual can determine whether he's being kept in a basement CIA holding cell or the hull of an alien spaceship using the following three criteria:
1) Paint: CIA holding cells are painted grey, usually two coats and primer over plaster parging, which itself is spread over poured concrete.
The hulls of alien spaceships are just grey, the way a sugar cube is white. Grey, grey, grey.
2) Resonance: gently tapping the wall of a CIA holding cell will produce a dull thud. Again, plaster parging over poured concrete.
Gently tapping the hull of an alien spaceship produces a strange, hollow tinkling, like tapping two charred sticks together in a bonfire. (Warning: don't go overboard with this. You don't want to be making a lot of ruckus in the bowels of an alien spaceship. Trust me.)
3) Residue: No matter how much they scour, the CIA can never quite manage to get their holding cells completely clean. A small droplet of dried blood here, a fleck of unidentifiable tissue there, a sooty film in the crack where the wall meets the floor. Not much, but always present.
Aliens use some sort of irradiation technology, combined with whatever composite material their hulls are made of, to completely irradicate all traces of the former occupants of their holding cells. Two minutes after the bloodiest implantation procedure they could safely work on open microcircuitry in the same room. Donald Rumsfeld wishes.
posted by Marty at 3:34 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home